


out of our depth

by leonhardts



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: First Kiss, Getting Together, M/M, Pining, idk man how do these tags work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-21
Updated: 2014-08-21
Packaged: 2018-02-14 02:57:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2175519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leonhardts/pseuds/leonhardts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Once they're there, it'll be the easiest thing in the world-- getting there though, that's the hard part.</i>
</p><p>(Or, Nishinoya is a pining loser and Tanaka is (mostly, somewhat) oblivious, Again.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	out of our depth

Nishinoya's leg keeps bouncing under the table.

Tanaka notices because every third or fourth jump, Noya's ankle bangs against his. He looks at his friend with a slight tilt of his head, but Noya is oblivious, staring just left of Tanaka's ear.

He'd shrug it off under normal circumstances-- there was any number of reasons Nishinoya might be daydreaming, he wasn't always the most attentive person in the world. Except for how this is the fourth or fifth time this week he's caught Noya drifting off in thought, anxiety written in the scrunched-up line of his eyebrows. He doubts it'd be a notable difference to anyone who spent less time looking at his face but-- well, Tanaka was well-versed in Noya's mannerisms, to say the least.

"Oi," he tries, and manages to gain Noya's attention with a jerk of his chin. "Noya," he starts, but Noya throws him a quick grin and it's almost-- guilty. _Huh_ , he thinks quietly, and then tries again. "You look a little," a vague hand gesture, "Off? Is anything wrong?"

Noya frowns for a brief moment before shaking his head quickly. "Nah, not really." Another smile, easier this time. "Just thinking too much, you know."

Tanaka nods and looks back down at his paper. They're supposed to be studying, but it's admittedly hard to focus with Noya practically vibrating across from him. He glances over at his classmate's paper, and sees he hasn't gotten much farther with their maths work himself.

"Want to take a break and play a game, or something?" Nishinoya asks, a few mostly quiet minutes later. Tanaka is almost done with his final set, and he nods absently, holds up a finger to indicate he needs just a minute more. Noya sighs audibly, and leans back, hands behind his head, while he waits for Tanaka to finish up.

Once they're downstairs, comfortably situated on the floor between the couch and the television in Tanaka's living room, Noya doesn't seem any more settled. He repeatedly loses matches that Tanaka knows he should probably be winning-- he keeps glancing at his phone on the floor next to him, like he's waiting for a text or checking the time maybe. Tanaka wants to ask, because if Noya is worried about something, he should be there for him, as his best friend, to comfort him. But he hesitates, thrown off-course by the fact Noya _hasn't told him_ already. They tell each other everything-- the first time Noya had managed to speak to Kyoko, Tanaka had been on the phone with him not two minutes after, hearing in vivid detail a recounting those glorious 30 seconds. When Tanaka had failed a class in first year, it had been Noya he had broken down in front of late that night, confessing he didn't know how he would tell his parents (he'd also been the one to tell Ryuu he had nothing to worry about, that he'd go with him; had been the one who squeezed his hand and hugged him tightly after his parents' (blessedly brief and mostly understanding) lecture).

In short, Ryuu didn't know how to deal with a silent, pent-up Noya-- the opportunity had never really presented itself.

Beside him now, Noya is chewing on his fingernails and staring glassy-eyed at a 2nd place ending screen, controller forgotten in his right hand. "Noya," Tanaka starts, and Noya looks over at him suddenly. "What's up?" he asks, trying to sound casual, knowing he probably misses by a few beats.

"Nothi--"

"Yuu."

Noya looks away then, fidgets slightly, rearranges his legs beneath himself. Tanaka doesn't call him by his first name often-- it sounds almost more formal than his last. Noya, is, well, _Noya_ , to Ryuu.

Heaving a tiny sigh, he looks up, steadily, at his friend, for what feels like the first time all afternoon. "It's really nothing," he says, holding up a hand because he knows Tanaka is about to protest again. "It's just, personal? I don't really know that I want to. Um. Talk about it." His gaze falls back to the carpet between them again.

Tanaka tries not to look hurt and knows he fails. "Oh."

Noya looks up again, leaning forward and forcefully meeting Tanaka's gaze. "Not specifically with you, Ryuu. I wouldn't know to talk to anyone about this, anyway. I know it's _you_ , but I... I'm sorry." And he just looks _so_ , Tanaka can't help but believe him, despite his own uncertainty. His friend is obviously upset about something, and he wishes more than anything he could help, but if keeping quiet and letting Noya deal with it on his own is what will really help him, he can do that too.

Tanaka nods, and puts his hand on his friend's shoulder. "Okay, Noya. Don't worry about it. But, talk to me when you feel comfortable enough to, okay?"

Noya nods emphatically back. "Of course, Ryuu." He gives him his first genuine smile of the afternoon. "We'd better study some more before Daichi comes over and beats us over the head with our textbooks again."

Tanaka laughs slightly (though he knows it's only a half-joke-- the threat of their captain beating them, literally, is always real), and agrees. They grab their books and spread out across the floor, spend the few hours before Tanaka's parents get back home actually (mostly) doing work. They eat dinner together and then Noya excuses himself, thanking his family for the meal, and begins gathering up his stuff.

Tanaka follows him to the door, where Noya tells him he'll be fine walking to the bus on his own-- his house isn't that far from Ryuu's, and it's not as though he doesn't know the way. "See you at school tomorrow, Ryuu," he calls, and Tanaka waves him off.

He doesn't even really dwell too much on the crease between Noya's brows when their hands had brushed together during dinner when he lies down to sleep that night.

\--

The next few days sees Noya acting more like his usual self. He plays hard and well, as usual, during practice. They only earn one stern talking to by Suga when they both get a D in their history and maths classes, respectively, at the end of the week. The first years whine and bicker all through a particularly long and grueling practice on Friday. Tanaka is tempted to join in, but with the severe looks the lot of them are earning from both their coach and captain, and the brief speech the latter gives them about practicing harder than ever in preparation for the upcoming tournament, he manages to bite his tongue.

Asahi's in better shape than ever; one day when he goes in search of Noya, he finds him out front of the clubroom, slapping their ace's shoulder forcefully, and congratulating him on a particularly good spike from earlier that day. Tanaka smiles at the two as he approaches, and Asahi straightens back up, a tiny grimace on his face, rubbing his no-doubt aching shoulder. "Thanks, Nishinoya," he says, almost sheepishly (still after a year and a half of this, Tanaka thinks with a small, largely fond sigh). When he spots Tanaka standing behind Noya, his smile gets a bit more genuine. "I should get going home." Noya nods and as he starts to turn away, coming face to face with Tanaka, Asahi adds, "And good luck!" Tanaka quirks an eyebrow as Noya turns a tiny bit red.

It's only at the tips of his ears, the very bridge of his nose, the angles of his cheekbones, but Tanaka is a little closer than he normally would be, and he knows his friend's face like the back of his hand, so of course he notices. He looks up at Asahi, who is walking away, with what looks to be an almost-- smug? look on his face. Tanaka blinks and it's gone but he could've sworn--

"Let's go, Ryuu," Noya says, a bit forcefully, and grabs Tanaka's arm.

He's tempted to ask just what that was about, but when he sees the way Noya's face has gone funny and scrunched up again, he bites his tongue. It's a struggle not to bring it up, but he manages. He knows it likely has something to do with his teammate's previous anxiety, and figures it's a topic best left for once they're back at his place.

They get there quickly enough. Noya spends most of it babbling about something or other-- their next opponent? The weird tension he's been noticing between the first years recently? The new horror film he wants to go see soon? Tanaka isn't really sure, and if he isn't participating in the conversation as much as he should be, well, Noya isn't saying anything, and he's not about to bring up the fact he's only heard about half of the words his teammate has said in the past fifteen minutes.

"Oi, Ryuu," Noya starts, and oh, maybe he hadn't been paying _quite_ enough attention, because that sounds like the kind of prompt that implies Tanaka has already missed some sort of cue.

"Yeah, sorry, what?" he asks, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. When he looks at Noya, he finds him staring at him, a little open-mouthed. After a split second where something indistinct passes over his normally-easy-to-read face, Noya shakes his head and smiles.

"Nah, it was nothing. We're here, though."

Oh. Tanaka hadn't even noticed, caught up in watching his friend's hands and thinking himself in circles. "Oh," he says, and digs around in his bag for his keys.

Noya drops easily on Tanaka's bed once they're in, slinging his bag carelessly onto the floor. Tanaka takes out his own textbook carefully, sits at the foot of his bed. Noya sighs loudly before Tanaka feels his hand on his shoulder.

"Can't we skip the studying for tonight. It's the weekend anyway. Daichi won't know.."

Tanaka nods, tells him _sure, ok_ , and spends the next minute staring unsure at his own lap. "Did you want to--"

"Hinata seemed especially focused today, didn't he?" Noya cuts in. Tanaka nods absently, and it's not long before they're falling into easy conversation. Tanaka feels a little bit of the tension bleed out of his shoulders, leaning back easily against the bed and almost ( _almost_ ) forgetting earlier.

As it gets progressively later Tanaka finds himself only humming along in acknowledgement of Noya's words, staring out his window at the orange-fading sky. His eyelids droop unintentionally, and he hears Noya sigh again, shift off the bed, and he almost asks him where he's going, but then there's a familiar warmth against his side and Noya is still talking, but it's quieter, like he knows Tanaka is drifting off and doesn't mind, just keeps telling his story about some girl in their class.

The next thing Tanaka registers is the slightly damp fabric pressed against his cheek. He snaps his head up quickly, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand, quickly realizing he's fallen asleep on Noya's shoulder. It's not uncommon enough for it to be embarrassing anymore, but he realizes abruptly that Nishinoya is still awake, and looking at him with a weird, soft expression and it makes something dip in Tanaka's stomach, makes him smile almost anxiously as Noya shrugs at him when he asks how long he's been asleep for. Noya's gaze shifts to a spot on the floor, away from Tanaka.

"Maybe twenty minutes. You didn't even make it to the end of my story, which was really rude of you, by the way." Tanaka can tell he's teasing, just like always, but there's a tiny bit of roughness in his tone that makes him blink.

Tanaka laughs it off, though, concedes another little bit of space between them, even though he doesn't want to (he wants to grab Noya by the shoulders and just _ask him_ already, but, Tanaka's always been one for making mountains out of molehills, and Noya is his closest friend in the entire world; he doesn't want to make things worse for him, either).

Instead, he stretches out his arms and leans back against the bed again. Noya's watching him, he can feel his gaze on the side of his face. He yawns and folds his legs under himself. "It's pretty late," he says, looking at the time on his phone. Noya nods in his peripheral vision. "We should go see if dinner is going to be ready soon, Saeko is coming over tonight I think."

Noya absently _mm'_ s in agreement. Neither of them makes a particular effort to actually get up.

It's quiet. Not the usual kind of quiet between them either. Not the kind that settles easily, when there are no real words left to say between them, the kind they've adjusted to and are comfortable with. It's stagnant and _awkward_ , and Tanaka isn't good at metaphors but he feels a tension in the air, thick enough to cut with a knife, or, or _something_ \--

He moves to get up at the same time that Noya shifts over, and they end up colliding, chin to forehead. "Shit" Noya says at the same time as Ryuu mutters, " _Oi_ ," and they both half-laugh, barely audible. Tanaka leans over Noya to make sure he's okay, from where he's flopped bonelessly onto his back in defeat. It's ridiculous, all of this, and Tanaka is about to say so, but when he leans over Noya, the other boy stops laughing, abruptly. Tanaka frowns. Noya's vision drops from Tanaka's eyes to his lips, and he _licks_  his own, and Tanaka definitely feels _something_  then, something deep and foreign, coiling in the bottom of his gut.

He knows he told Noya that he'd give him time to tell him what's been going on, but Ryuu has never been a patient person. He's never been one to stand around with his hands in his pockets when his friends are hurt. Especially not Yuu.

"Yuu," he starts, and Nishinoya looks up at him. "I know I told you I'd let you talk to me when you're ready but--" Noya twitches slightly inward, and Tanaka sets his own shoulders, presses forward. "What did Asahi mean today?" There are tiny knots in his stomach, working up into the back of his throat. "Why aren't we--" he gestures around the both of them, exasperated. "What's this weird--thing-- about." It comes out flat, like a statement. Noya winces a little, shifts up so he's resting on an elbow, bringing his face a little bit closer to Tanaka's. Tanaka almost loses his balance when he waves his arms around, leaning precariously over Noya, who's still mostly-lying down.

"It's not you, Ryuu--" Noya starts, stops, shakes his head. Straightens out his own shoulders. He moves to sit up fully, and Tanaka shifts back enough to give him room to. They're still a bit closer than would be normal, but neither of them really notices or cares right now.

Tanaka has always been amazed by how much presence Noya can sum up. This past week Noya has seemed somehow-- smaller. It's been a while since Tanaka felt he was looking _up_ to Noya, like he was used to. Right now, though. Tanaka feels two feet tall as his best friend reaches out and grabs his hands. "It's not your _fault_ , I mean, it sort of is, I guess. It _is_ you."

Tanaka only looks more confused at that, feels the knots get a little tighter in his chest, constricting around his insides. "What--"

"Ryuunosuke," Noya starts, and Tanaka flinches slightly. Hearing his full given name from Noya is jarring, it only ever happens when Noya is legitimately angry, or very serious, with him. Noya just stares right back, before leaning forward even closer. His face is about ten centimeters from his own now, and there's a whole--  _storm_ , he thinks, is the right word-- of emotions in Nishinoya's eyes.

"Ryuu," he says again, a little softer, and sighs, lets out a tiny, anxious laugh. Tanaka flinches again.

They both ignore the centimeter Tanaka moves back. It's not his fault, really, there's something in the air, he hasn't been getting enough of it since Noya said his name like that, since he noticed Noya staring at his mouth, since Asahi told him good luck with this _knowing_  look, like he knows something Tanaka doesn't about Noya, which is just plain unfair, _Tanaka_ is supposed to be his best friend here after all, but he doesn't have time to even be indignant because Noya's hands are settling on his shoulders and he's looking at him like _he_  should know something, too, but he doesn't, he _doesn't_.

"Ryuu," Noya says, a third time, and closes his eyes. He looks like he's summing up the courage to tell Tanaka something, but Tanaka is impatient, it's only been a week since his best friend has seemed like his best friend, and it's not that he hates this, this weird twisting mess in his stomach, or the odd tension in the room when Noya had _looked_ at him earlier, or the view of a slightly flushed Nishinoya nearly sitting in his lap right now.

He watches Noya breathe out, shake his shoulders out, and open his mouth. No sound comes out for a minute, and he looks sort of lost, kind of like a confused puppy, it's cute, and there are absolutely butterflies in Tanaka's chest right now as he waits for him to say something, _do_ something, or-- Oh.

Tanaka bites his lip and Noya's eyes flicker down momentarily, distracted. Tanaka thinks he might, maybe, be starting to get it.

"Yuu," he answers back, finally, and their gazes meet again, finally. Tanaka smiles at Noya kind of helplessly, for the first time in minutes, hours, days... It's easy, he realizes, the knots all simultaneously easing up from around his esophagus, from the space between his ribs.

It's easy, to lean forward those last couple of centimeters, and press his lips against Nishinoya's. It's easy just like wrapping his arms around his back a few fast-forwarded moments later is, like pulling Yuu more firmly against him is. Like listening to him make a small surprised noise against his own closed lips is, suddenly diving in, eyes slipping shut, wrapping his own arms around the back of Ryuu's neck in return.

It's the easiest thing he's done in his entire life.

**Author's Note:**

> [shrugs] they're just so gay what can u do haha.......
> 
> (Dedicated to my best girl/co-captain, Melanie, for encouragement/hand-holding during this entire Noya/Tanaka Situation. Look at these gays. We Did It.)


End file.
